Mood: Lost
I felt sick all morning with nerves, I've never felt so close to throwing up. So desperately want to just go home :'( I was struggling all morning to hold back the tears (I'm actually welling up again thinking about it) until I was in my boyfriend's room with him and I just burst into tears. He was talking to me and was being so supportive, then his mum saw and came and comforted me as well til I stopped crying. I just feel overwhelmed and completely defeated now. It is possible that it is to do with being stone cold off my meds which in hindsight was the worst thing to happen right now! Maybe I would have revised harder otherwise and felt more capable :/
Back in my uni flat by myself now - my flatmate is back in a few days - and I have unpacked and had dinner while watching one of my favourite sitcoms Modern Family. The thing is, I don't like a single thing about my current situation: living apart from my boyfriend, loud neighbours, heavily littered city, mouse problem in flat, activities left - dissertation, 2 exams and presentation - being constantly cold and shivery, bad skin from stress, pressure to do well, gloomy rainy weather, not having the hope of being a puppy walker for guide dogs to look forward to...
I think my biggest challenge is to not cry too much; strangely I feel so much like I did when I first moved here in September last year.
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