Getting people to understand

3 days to go!

Mood: Desperate

Dying to go home, I just need to be home! I need loving, supportive people around like my family who are doing their best to understand. Yesterday was such an emotional day, I've no idea how long I cried for, how long I was on the phone to family, how long I curled up in bed feeling guilty for being unwell and what it does to other people.

I am doing my best to resolve this friend situation. From previous blog posts about it, I know I seem very blunt about the whole thing, but thing is I had no idea what had happened - if I had done something or if there was something to admit to me - so naturally, being as anxious as I am, I'm not going to assume it's to do with borrowed cutlery am I :/ it will look huge in my mind, so I have to harness my nerves about it and be firm about the whole thing. How else am I supposed to stop myself from falling apart?

The choice is usually let it take over and rip me to pieces or stand firm and strong to get through.

*sigh* I just so desperately want to go home now :( I am sick of trying to make people understand, it is tiring enough trying to fight so many anxieties - of using the phone, of leaving the flat, meeting people - so many social situations make me uncomfortable and I put myself in this position to try and tackle it. People get over their fears by facing them don't they? That is all I am trying to do. Of course, on the surface and through other people's eyes there doesn't seem to be any effort made, but it is all inside, this is what people don't understand!!

The struggle is not visible, but it is truly there.

You can't force people to really understand, so when you have a close bond with someone, the trust is imperative. They know you don't see the world and life the way healthy minds do, they know getting dressed is a struggle in itself, they know that getting through a normal day feels like a hike.

From +Defeat Depression's facebook page: click here

I am not BY ANY MEANS belittling other's problems, I am very fortunate in many ways and ups and downs are part of life. I am merely trying to bring across.....I don't even know anymore :/