Acceptance

As someone with mental illness - of course I can't speak for others - the feeling of acceptance is everything. For me, it encompasses all that I need - comfort and support. I am working hard to strengthen my bond with family and it is going very well. When you aren't related however.... friends can come and go easier than we think.

I am having trouble with a friend. She is avoiding me at all costs and not talking to me, even though 'we need to talk at some point'. I don't know her reasons for all this weird behaviour and it is starting to get under my skin. With each day I become more convinced that this is all because I am mentally unwell. If this was simply my personality, people would think I am lazy and ungrateful, but how can I make everyone I meet understand?

The depression makes it difficult to even get out of bed, I rarely get dressed anymore if I do get up. Anxiety makes it a struggle to go out, so I never see friends... that I thought I had. I have made new friends over the passing year, but I don't think they would pick up the phone if I needed someone to talk to.

I'm starting to think my flatmate wouldn't either.

It is the sad reality of being mentally ill and it isn't the angle many talk about I don't think, but relationships are so difficult to keep going and if you are friends with or related to someone with a mental illness, you must reassure them that you are there for them through it all and it doesn't bother them.

When I became depressed last summer, I didn't open up to any of my family, I gave my mum and sister the cold shoulder for months. Thing is, I would never do that for the sake of it. I knew something had changed but even I didn't know what was going on, so what could I say to them?! I was afraid to say anything in case of it blowing up into an argument (which ironically is exacly what happened when I got the nerve).

Surely my closest friend of the past 3 years wouldn't be like this?