You look...interesting

Mood: Tense

Can't relax. I wanted to blog this morning but my laptop was packed. My boyfriend's father picked us up this morning and now we are at theirs. Aaah the countryside really is lovely.

I felt awful all morning, like I was going to faint. Feeling light-head, I cried a little thinking 'I shouldn't dread going home, seeing family'. It will hopefully be better than I am imagining, but only time will tell :/ I am in a better place mentally than the last time I was home, at Christmas, which gives me hope that the home environment will be easier and not feel so heavy.

At its worst, I feel suffocated with their judgement. Every time they see me for the first time in the day, my sister's eyes go up and down me, analysing my appearance. My mum doesn't do that, or not that I've noticed, but when I would feel like doing more colourful makeup she would snigger or say 'You look...interesting, sweetie!'.......thanks?