Depression - 1, Friendships - 0

Well done Depression, you've managed to cost me my first friend and a close one at that. I know mental health sufferers have strain on their relationships, it affected my family instantly and now that is being worked through and they are understanding much more now, but now it has affected my friendships.

I thought that if I admitted my mental condition to my flatmate that that would be all it would take for us to live in harmony - that she would just need to know about it. Looking back, I think I was a bit naiive. If I could do it over again, I would try to explain the best I can how it might feel for her. I looked up some articles online and have found some good advice/tips for someone living with a sufferer:

Avoid getting angry when she's feeling bad about herself. Depression isn't a problem that is curable with tough love; it requires understanding what happens when someone has the disorder.

Avoid lying to protect the person.

Understand the disorder. Take time to find out what depression is and is not. So many popular misunderstandings about the illness and so much denial about its origins exist.

Remember that the other person has a real illness. Like someone with cancer, they can't simply “get over it.” Try not to express your frustration or anger in ways you'll regret, but don't suppress your own feelings either. Repressing your needs can lead to resentment and erode the living situation. You can say for example, “I know that you can't help feeling down, but I feel frustrated.”

I tried to resolve the relationship but it hasn't worked, I can't apologise away resentment. The only comfort I can get from this is that I have learned from it and it is a harsh reminder that communication and understanding are key for anyone to get through mental health problems, as well as their loved ones. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and people take things personally.

When someone is depressed, they are very sensitive to all of your actions, words, and emotions.