'No offence, but..' is still an offensive sentence

I've half the mind to just move in with Tom in his uni flat (which was mine last year) and sneakily live there under the radar.

I have to tidy something, anything....

Gaah my room's already tidy, what do I do! Maybe I should make a mess move things around then rearrange them again. I need to throw something away.

I want to vent about family frustrations but I've calmed down a little since and I'm pretty sure going through it again will make me mad again. I was in that horrible place where you're so angry and wound up that every now and then I'd switch to crying and back. I'll try to put it as briefly as possible.

I was wrong about the wedding anniversary celebration date, it was today not tomorrow, so I was calmly strolling down the road for cake ingredients (which I got) and back. Sister tells me maybe it would be good to start baking and I thought 'I've got all tomorrow to do it, why can't I leave it?' UUUUHHH.

So now I know, I check the recipe - the cake needs several hours to chill after it's made. Great. I don't have that. The only thing I didn't have - time. This was the last straw, because other little things had built up before this point which I won't delve into, nothing big. I was mad and upset and in a panic - I wanted it to be a nice evening and for it to go as planned and what I was in charge of couldn't happen.

Wouldn't anyone be bothered by that?!

My self-esteem is truly as low as it can be, it's never been that high, I will be grateful for a compliment but I never believe them to be true, in my mind it's always to be polite. I digress, this comes from (partly I think) family writing off my personality traits as character flaws. This is what I was thinking that made me tear up a bit - which it has over the years as well - and there's nothing I can do about it.

'Stop being so grumpy''Why are you angry all the time?''Calm down''Just be nicer''You're so overly sensitive, lighten up'

Please, if anyone can comment, do any of these phrases sound encouraging or nurturing in any way? Do they sound like the write things to say to someone when you want them to better themselves?

Fine, I get the intention, but that is hardly a comfort. It's like 'No offence, but...' is still an offensive sentence! Why can't my family just stop- AARGHHH I came home to stop lectured, you know :/ I'm getting grilled more at home than any classroom.

Did they ever consider the fact that my bad mood is to do with my ENVIRONMENT, HUH?!