Graduation Day is here! Do I belong?

Feeling: A little undeserving, but good

Scroll to the end of the post for some pics!!

It was a great day - apart from the horrible teary drive home after saying goodbye to Tom - and I am also really looking forward to curling up in my own floofy duvet (my duvet is 13.5 TOG all year round! A bit much for most people)!

The night before with Tom

I'll whizz back to last night to start - it was the perfect night. I left the family at the B+B once they were sorted, saw them to their rooms and discussed this morning and when/where to meet. The car journey had been frustrating at times, but mostly actually really good fun :) we laughed quite a lot along the way which was much needed I think.

Spending the night at Tom's flat was so nice. We were wrapped up in each other like two interlocking prawns (I thought of prawns first because I'm munching on prawn crackers) and watched a couple of movies with food, I got to have a lush, hot shower as well. It felt strange being back in my ex flat, like I was back but not at the same time. Also, Tom's room is the other bedroom, his flatmate is in my old room. I think he didn't want the reminding constantly that I wasn't there anymore.

The flat felt different with new tenants

I put a sort of mental block up upon arrival to prevent memories of the place flooding back to me, but it wasn't like I had bad memories of the flat. Of the friendship yes, all I think of is how it ended, but actually I felt fine being back. And it felt different now that the boys are settled in.

Anyway, after a lovely night - but struggling to sleep for fear of our night together from flying by too fast - I was up early this morning and at the ceremony location by 8:30am.

I wanted my family there with me

All other graduants had their families and it was a (rare) moment where I really wanted my family to be there. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I felt like that, but I was dying for them to arrive! Maybe it was out of embarrassment or something, but looking back, it is reassuring that that feeling isn't out of reach for me.

The ceremony went really smoothly, I felt pretty good about myself in my robes and I didn't fall over with nerves! My only issue was feeling undeserving of my place in the ceremony.

I don't feel like a legit graduate

Didn't pass the exams, I didn't pass. It's nice to have an award for trying, but I just wouldn't have put me on the same level.