Mood: So-so
Felt okay straight after getting
up, but things very quickly went downhill. All of a sudden didn’t want to go
out to do any little errands or anything, I felt so miserable. Once again a
gorgeous day, but the warm weather was having no positive effect this morning.
Maybe I need hot weather + company.
Hot weather + company
= happiness?
It is almost 5pm now and I am so
tired. After some breakfast I did will myself to go out because mum had asked
me to get a couple of things. I also really need to go down to my doctor’s
surgery but it’s too long a walk for me, my hips would certainly play up and
make it very painful :/
My hips have been a problem from
an early age, it always felt like bone grinding against bone, but the pain
comes and goes so I haven’t had physio for it or anything. Maybe that day will
come, but not yet.
My thinner, summer clothes are
also very bright and bold colours and my mood didn’t like the sound of that.
Still, I forced myself out in bright teal palazzo trousers and a dark purple
greek-style top. I felt sooo uncomfortable for a while, I took a white cardi in
case I wanted to hide from prying eyes, but it was so hot and people weren’t
looking at me! I gradually felt fine and nipping to the shops actually cheered
me up J
I have enough meds to last
another 10 days I think before I run out and I’m starting to feel on edge.
Running out now could be pretty damaging, especially since things are looking
up with family and everything. The thought that I might lash out or be
irritable with anyone frightens me – I don’t want to go backwards! I’m doing my
best to keep those worries at bay and remain hopeful that I can see a GP, get a
prescription and cash it out before then…… mmmm.
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