Pick yourself up again

Feeling: Determined
Listening to: Gustavo Santaolalla - Opening (Brokeback Mountain OST)

A bad day

Yesterday was mostly a bad day BUT I did turn it around, thanks to my mum :) unfortunately for no reason, I had a super low. I got up, had breakfast with my mum and sister like normal at the weekend, went back up to my room and lay on my bed for six hours, wallowing. It really came out of nowhere, things have been going well and for that reason I am going to treat it as a simple anomally. These days will happen, after all, it's perfectly normal every once in a while. So I'm not freaking out, thinking 'Ohh it's back to square one' - no, none of that thank you very much.

Mum cuddles

My family had the impression that I was asleep, but mum poked her head up my attic stairs to see how I was doing mid afternoon and saw me curled up under the covers, my eyes tired from crying. I was relieved to see mum checking on me because I wanted mum cuddles. Everyone wants mum cuddles now and then, it just makes everything better.

Onwards and upwards

I am full of a new positive boost to move forwards again, which makes me so happy!

I have another CBT Therapist session today and we now are almost solely looking at improving my self-esteem. I am working through some psychology services workbooks on this and am at a crunch point where it is time to put a lot of work into it. It has already felt like a fair bit of work, although of course on the outside none of it is apparent.

So currently, I am keeping a type of positivity journal, noting down my positive qualities and examples in my life where they have shown through. I am really seeing how this works, it makes a lot of sense, which is so uplifting. With each chapter, I automatically think that it's all talk and it won't really change anything, 'my low self-esteem is a solid as rock' blablabla and each chapter has proven me wrong!

So thankful for these services.