I'm feeling so much pressure right now but no work is manifesting. I'm finding some reports really difficult to understand in the first place, let alone write, I have so little time for some of them. I feel in such a panic, I don't know what to do. There isn't enough hours in the day lately it seems, but I think I will be having early starts and working long and hard til I punch some of these deadlines out. I just hope I can get some sleep.
I made a youtube video about my mental health last night and it is uploading right now. I am soooo terrified if anyone I know sees it and what they will think, if they will be surprised or behave differently around me from now on. It is a big thing to admit and my family, if they knew, would probably say it was a crazy, stupid thing to do. Funny way to be supportive - everything I do is wrong! If any of my friends watch it and just not mention it to me, I would be very grateful, I think that would make me feel like life goes on. Very dramatic I know, but this is what I mean - people's perceptions of others can be greatly affected when they know of certain hardships.
I'm scared. I hope no one thinks I am faking - that has been a worry of mine all the time I've been depressed, how I view myself is directly through how I think others see me. I have no self-esteem because I don't give myself the chance, I have never valued my own opinion. My boyfriend is wonderful at making me feel good about myself and he does that for me every day which I will forever be thankful for :)
I'm so scared I'm going to fail my BSc at the last hurdle; I only have a few months left, less than 2 months of lessons!
No comments:
Post a Comment