Brainache and attention

I feel pretty darn tired after today. I have been in a computer room 9 til 5 (in front of 2 screens each), creating maps and analysing data. Everything was new to us and although I feel I got my head around the majority of the day's learning, I have serious brainache! I am not letting myself feel defeated already though, I can't right now.

Mum rang me yesterday, it was a nice chat. We did talk about what I'll do after uni, me worrying about it so much, the puppy walking I hope to do, my studies, spending time together, just us two. The thing is, because my mum and sister are so alike, I don't get any alone time with mum because whatever we do, it would be enjoyable for my sister as well. I don't mind that, I don't want to deprive my sister from family time, but she's had plenty while I've been away, is it mean for me to want my mum to myself on the odd occasion?! We giggled about it on the phone - I am glad it came across lightly - I can't recall us spending time together just the two of us since we went on holiday (a treat from my grandpa) to Tenerife.... in 2011! I don't want it to be a competition, but that is how it has always felt:

mum and sister vs dad and I

 

Besides, soon after my mum and sister went on holiday together to Greece, so they got their time too. It seems like I don't want my mum's attention, but it's not like that at all, of course I do! I'm just not very cuddly wuddly, whereas my sister is 25 and would still happily curl up on my mum's lap. I'm not that touchy feely, so compared to my sister my mum thinks I'm a cold fish. I would like attention in a different way. I would want to turn to my mum with any problems and chat to her and have mum listen and try to understand. That alone would make me feel more connected. Feeling misunderstood in your own family home is a terrible thing.