What will it take for me to be my old self again?

Feeling: Hopeless

I've been feeling particularly low the past couple of days despite knowing I'll have a golden retreiver to look after this weekend. Now, if having a dog doesn't help, I have no clue what will!!

I'll probably be happy the entire time the dog is here though, but... I thought I would be happy and excited all day until he/she arrives. Nope :/ I've actually noticed today and yesterday were definite crashes in mood, I was crying yesterday on my bed because sometimes it hits me all over again that I am in a dark place and I can't find the exit.

Occasionally it just hits me all over again and I get frustrated

Hence come the tears! Didn't cry today thankfully. You know what one of the worst things is? I can't let my family see me like that, at the moment for multiple reasons.

My grandpa is...well, he has very little time left now sadly and I can't begin to describe how mum is.
If they see me teary or particularly low, they'll say 'What's wrong?' and I don't know how to respond to that. Nothing's happened technically, but there is something wrong.

If I responded to 'What's wrong?' with the medical definition of depression, my family would think I'm being defensive or snappy. What do they want me to say?!

It is easier to just ride out the mood crash alone and return to family company once I'm better.