Tuesday 7 October 2014

Don't judge me for taking medication

I am FED UP of dealing with this.

Not even a full day has gone by with me back on the meds and I'm feeling the judgement from family! Well, my sister...she's the only one who knows, she happened to ask how the GP visit went this morning while noone happened to be in the room.

Oh, how I wish I had kept my mouth shut!! I was even thinking about it to and from the doctors, 'What shall I tell my family?' 'How much detail should I tell them?' 'I'll just say it went well'. over and over I thought about it, knowing what their - well, my sister's - reactions would be if I told them I was back on the meds.

I wholeheartedly believe it is the right thing to do to be back on them, it will really balance my mood and get me through day-to-day without as many crashes. The thing is, my family don't realise how things really are for me because I hide up in my room when I have a dip or crash in mood and don't resurface until I feel it's gone. In their minds they must think I'm practically myself i.e. not depressed (I've always had the anxiety).

Uhh good :/ maybe I'll end up living in my own place through supported housing, I can see myself saying at the peak of an argument that I'll just leave home and live somewhere else. I reeeally hope I don't say anything like that, I don't want to!

All I want is for them to think/say that despite their own opinions, they know that I feel it is right for me and respect my decision. Is that too much to ask? :/

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