My mum and sister have been away on holiday together in Tenerife since Tuesday and are away for a week, so 1 last full day before they arrive back. I know how this will sound, but like I always say, all that I post on my blog is 100% how I really feel: I'm not looking forward to them getting back. Well, I'll be happy to see mum.
In charge
I've been feeling so upbeat since they left, I've been left the space to think clearly and be responsible in terms of looking after the house. I actually enjoy putting clothes on to wash, putting things on the line, you know how much I love tidying, hoovering etc. I feel my age now, but when they come back I'll be back into me grumpy teenager role.
The truth is simple
Yeah I know, why step back and let it happen. Well, the truth is simple. I don't like living in the same house with my sister. That's really what it comes down to. It's not necessarily her that's the problem, as I've said before she hasn't done anything, it is my mental state that stops us seeing eye to eye. My low self-esteem means I feel automatically undermined and outshone when she's around.
I try to explain how I feel to mum, but instead of helping her understand, I think I'm breaking her heart. Of course she wants us to skip down the road, arm in arm, she's our mum!
I am how I am
Now that I am 23 I am starting to listen to myself and won't be someone I'm not. I've got to live my life for me, but at the same time I really am trying to ease the friction in the house. The best way for me to do that is just stick to myself. My therapist said I was actually being smart by distancing myself because of the negative mood I'm in around my sister.
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