A future career?

I don't know how long I can go on like this.

I was just flicking through my academic diary, looking at everything I have to do. I don't want to do any of it, all I want is to curl up into bed and forget the world outside my room exists. To avoid any stress or pain because that's all I feel about so much. Made me want to cry.

I was looking at possible jobs and careers into dog training/assistance dog training today, jobs at Guide Dogs, Canine Partners and googled for advice on becoming a guide dog trainer. As soon as I see the words 'difficult to get into' or 'very competitive field' or limited places available', I instantly give up. I'm not stupid, I know practically every industry is hard to get into.

I just don't feel capable. Reading through some job descriptions, I don't feel I have the skills to do anything. Is my self-esteem so low that it's just denial?! Whenever anyone says anything nice or encouraging about me, I just think they're protecting my feelings and they actually think differently. How do I reverse that? I'm not paranoid or delusional. Who knows