Company please!

Mood: So lonely

The family have been away visiting family in Italy for 5 days and I am starting to climb the walls with loneliness.

I've always enjoyed my own company but the past year I have grown closer to my family than ever and rarely spend time on my own anymore. It's a wonderful thing and I'm so thankful for what I have. It's just made this week on my own really difficult, even with the odd shift at work. I have enjoyed some of the time, I like doing things about the house, cleaning, everyday chores.

I suppose I'm feeling it today more than ever because a friend let me down today. Unfortunately it's another in a string of let downs by her, although she is an old friend and I love her to pieces. Today I got up at half 6 - which I never do - not even feeling tired, up and ready to do some cleaning! I was in the mood to put some gloves on with some loud music and get the house looking all ready for my friend to come over. I texted asking when she was coming and apparently there was some confusion as to when I said I was free. Apparently, "I'm free on Tuesday" could be taken as "I'm free a week on Tuesday".

So it was about half 9 this morning and I'd already done the cleaning for her arrival, expecting her to come around midday, and suddenly another long day on my own is ahead of me. Great, I thought, as many times before I've been let down, now what'll I do? That was my whole plan for the day! I was so pissed off and fed up that all the things I'd normally find enjoyable I felt would be pointless. So sadly, I spent the rest of the entire day perfecting my impression of a couch potato with the help of Modern Family, GabeBabeTV, TheLaVigneLife, Disney related videos by Jennifer Oakes and The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency.

Now that it's getting later and I have a work shift tomorrow the usual worry has started to settle in. My pre-work, I-wish-the-pressure-of-sales-targets-didn't-bother-me anxiety *sigh* I'll just keep drinking my tea and remember that two 5 hour shifts and I'm off to Tom's for a week. I don't feel like a holiday is around the corner at all, it's like I've made it up. Speaking of, I haven't packed at all. Crap.