SCATHING PERFORMANCE REVIEW AT WORK

Feeling: Frustrated

Well I had the morning from hell. I challenge all of you who say " I had the worst day at work today" to hold that thought.

If you didn't already know, I have been working nights at an animal hospital for a short while now. This morning was on of a few day training mornings I've had as part of my training which involved a performance review for the first time. I was nervous when notified about the review because I felt somehow like I was on the firing line. And I was. I really was.

You know how when you're new to a job and it takes time to settle in, you make mistakes here and there. In many businesses you have time to make mistakes and ease into the position but I haven't had that. I've felt pressure to work flawlessly from very early on and it was confirmed when my line manager said she was expecting much more at this stage. Perhaps it is because my background is mostly retail and the way you conduct yourself doesn't potentially affect a life.

A Lamb to Slaughter

Suffice to say I got slaughtered. I noticed a notebook with a few pages with my name and the vets I've been working with mentioned a few times. I went into the review expecting it to be an opportunity for me to get out how I feel - which it was - but I had no idea how much negative feedback had been passed back about me! I had no idea how badly I'd been doing, I felt like I'd been getting better with each shift but according to the vets I've been working with I've been rude, sarcastic, full of attitude, disrespectful, sloppy. This was all brought out by examples one by one.

"Let's start with Friday the..."

I didn't realise that all my mistakes would be put in the spotlight and magnified in great detail. Practically every one I've made. I'm obviously anxious and over-worry but I've been doing my best to remain positive and look to my mistakes as lessons to move on from. I also was doing my best to gloss over the difficulties with the vets, hoping things would improve as they spent more time with me. I guess not...